Indifference and Hope

I was making fund raising in the street these days, waiting with a poster, with african pictures, that someone stops to buy the magazine.

Strange feelings i had.
Looking for hours at the world that moves near me, people passing at any time, with any weather. fast, slowly, in hurry or just enjoying the walk.

I was there, standing, smiling.

I learned a lot, i thought a lot.

I learned how is to make a job like this. How difficult is to smile all the time for hours.
I saw the people and i discovered that someone is not able to smile me back but many yes and, also if they don't stop, it is nice.
I discovered how people can show indifference, passing in front of me 3, 4 times in the same day without looking around, without looking at me.
They just pass by....

Sometimes you start to hate them, to hate the people, their indifference, their inattention.

I discovered what it is indifference meaning...and i asked myself how many times i was showing the same behavior to someone, standing in the street, asking for something, screaming in silence that the world is not going in the right direction, or just their life is not going in the right one...

I discover how easy can be to pass by and how difficult is to smile also if this happens so many times.

I discover also how nice people can be.
In the first day, early in the morning, a boy (11-12 years old) was passing in front of me, going to school, he looked fast at the images and the writes of my poster, he stopped and he gave money. I think it was almost nothing but in the cold of the morning, standing there hopeless, for me was more than anybody else.
I can say that the most part of the adult that pass in front of me shows indifference, instead, this young boy, demonstrated how things can change.
I think he could represent the hope.

I discovered how you can lose your aim, and your faith, or, if you want, how you can make it stronger. People can help you in it.
I was just showing "Africa issues" and many stopped to support me, to ask, to give or just to say "good luck".

I appreciate everyone that was able to smile me back, that was able to support me in any way..the woman that stop to talk and gave to me money also if she had already supported one of my team-mate in another street, the man in the wheelchair that gave 10£ saying that i can understand how things are, the other young boy that stop fast to gave some coins.

I discovered how it is not important how much someone gives, but most it is to stop, to ask, why you are here, standing like this? for what? where are you going? why are you going?

Important it is to smile. I never smiled so much in my life.
You can say that I'm not smiling honestly but it is not true. I discovered that i can smile longer when I see people passing and smiling at me, curious baby looking at me, funny dogs passing smelling the air...

I discovered many things ab about myself and about the others.

I would never do a job like this, I think that normally I could think, seeing another person doing that, “which fucking job” (che lavoro di merda!!). Now it is not anymore.
It is easy that another worker smile and support you in some way, a postman, a man that clean the street.

There is a sort of "supporting behavior" between persons that have "low qualify" jobs.

How many times did I pass in front a someone that clean the street? How many times i smiled to him/her? There is a world of unknown persons that work for our cities, streets and services that we don't consider.

I asked myself how many times, how many times I was indifferent to something happening around me.

I felt guilty, because I know that I should say many times.

I felt sorry for a world that is not paying attention.

I felt happy because I found wonderful persons, that I will never see again but that were able to make me feel god with the job that I'm doing and the aim that I'm trying to achieve.

I felt that if there are still persons like this something good should be also in our society, and the indifference could decrease if we try to do it.

I felt that my brother was right saying me to don't be scared in leaving for Africa, because if you are willing to help someone will help you.

I felt good because I learned to smile more, and to smile looking in the eyes of person unknown just for the joy of receive a smile back.

Rosa Chiara